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Get clear about what the problem is What most people do is simply weigh the pros and cons of staying vs. The trap in this is that there are always pros and cons in every relationship, and if you really want to stay you’ll find more reasons to stay and less reasons to leave.

Anyone who has spent any time on our site knows we’re big fans of journaling, and this is one of those times that keeping notes on your thoughts and feelings around your on again/off again relationship (if it’s safe for you to do so) can be super helpful.One of the behaviors that can throw an otherwise healthy relationship into a tailspin is the infamous “on again/off again” relationship.While these relationships might not show a clear pattern of behaviors designed to take power and control from someone (which we would label as abusive), we know they can be unhealthy, toxic and painful to deal with.But what if you are not in any physical danger but just riding the emotional rollercoaster with the object of your affection and strong desire, when is it time to walk away?I personally do not think people should rush to end a deep connection that is so strong unless they’ve explored all options, looked at it from all directions and done whatever is reasonably possible to make it work.